by Ken Tuccio

The theme for the summer of 2008, for me atleast, has been the awesomeness of the Target clearance racks.

Thus far, from those racks, I’ve purchased a Hulkey Pokey Hulk, a TMNT Mutations figure, and a kick ass Minotaur. The streak of awesomeness continues, because I paid this price …

For this …

From The Chronicles of Narnia, the Prince Caspian Sword.

I’ve yet to see the newest Narnia flick, which I’m actually rather ashamed of, since I absolutely loved the first one. That being said, I can’t give a great explanation for the way this sword was used in the movie, but I’ll make an educated guess and say that it was used to either fight with, stab someone with, or be swallowed; the later would only fit if Prince Caspian became a sideshow act halfway through the film.

I normally have a rule about purchasing merchandise from films I haven’t seen, I try not to do it, but I couldn’t turn down the opportunity of owning a sword for a mere $3.

As a child I used to love toy swords. I have fond memories of going to summertime parades with my parents and shelling out a whole $2 on one of those cheap, hollow, white plastic swords. You know the ones I’m talking about, it was for sale next to the Invisible Ink and Stink Bombs.

Don't act like you never owned one.

I used to play with those swords until they broke in half. I’d battle trees, fence with my dog, and even pretend I was Zorro by making the mark of the "K" on my next door neighbors house.

For full disclosure, he didn’t appreciate that; especially after I did it three times in the same spot and unknowingly marked the front of his house with the initials "KKK".

This Prince Caspian Sword is a lot more detailed than the swords I used to buy at parades in Ansonia …

This sword is supposed to be an “Authentic Replica” of the sword used by Prince Caspian in the movie. I tend to not believe that, as I don’t think they battled in Narnia with hollow plastic weaponry, but I could be wrong.

The sword, as you can see, looks pretty damn cool. It’s got a metallic golden handle, with ridges for proper grip. It’s got this cool little emblem in the middle of the blade …

I assume that’s the crest for the fraternity Prince Caspian pledged for in Narnia University.

Also, as the box indicated …

It’s got “Battle Action Sounds”.

The “Battle Action Sounds” come from a little button in the handle of the sword …

But as this video will prove, the sound isn’t all that intimidating …

I think that is officially the lamest video in the history of YouTube.

Anyways, as you can hear, unless Prince Caspian is battling a renegade shopping cart in the parking lot of Costco, this doesn’t sound like anything I would describe as “Battle Action”.

To be fair though, this is a cool little sword, and if I were still in my younger days I’d spend as much time as I possibly could using it to battle whatever imaginary creatures my mind could come up with.

Sadly, since I’m no longer 7, I won’t be battling any imaginary monsters. Instead, this sword will sit by the side of my bed, and the next time I have a chick over I’m gonna’ make the comment “Do you wanna’ see my sword?”, and if all goes right, she’ll be making some “Battle Action Sounds” of her own.

Allllriggghhhhtt … giggity.