by Ken Tuccio

I’m not ashamed to admit that in 2005, as a 24 year old young adult, was driving around endlessly looking for a Mr. Potato Head.

Mind you, I wasn’t looking for just any Mr. Potato Head. I wasn’t in the market for a cute and playful spud, I had no interest in that, what I was looking for was a carb filled version of the Dark Lord of the Sith.

I was on a hunt for Darth Tater …

On this site previously I’ve spoken about the Indiana Jones themed spud, Tater of the Lost Ark, but what you see above is the original gangsta’ of spud-themed marketing.

When Darth Tater was released in 2005, Star Wars fans and toddlers alike went store to store in an attempt to get their hands on this starch filled Sith.This was quite the task, as Darth Tater was a tough spud to find. It was such a unique concept at the time that everyone wanted to get their hands on it, something that the folks at Playskool obviously hadn’t anticipated, because the supply for Darth Tater wasn’t on par with the demand.

During the height of its popularity, Darth Tater was going for high dollar figures on eBay. At one point I saw the spud selling for upwards of $100. It was far and away the “must have toy” from the third installment of the Star Wars prequels.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I went to at least 30 stores in an attempt to find Darth Tater, and everywhere I went was sold out. Toys R Us didn’t have the guy in stock, KB Toys only had traditional potato heads, Wal*Mart was spud-less, and Target was out as well.

I initially went on a hunt for Darth Tater because I thought it was neat, I thought it was a cool little toy that would make a great addition to my child-like bedroom, but when I found out how difficult it was to get, my motivations changed.

You see, capitalism was telling me that Darth Tater was something I couldn’t have, and I don’t like being told I can’t have things that I want. So my goal was now to prove to the world that I would indeed get my hands on Darth Tater, and I would get him at sticker price via a store. I wasn’t going to resort to buying the tater from some 45 year old man on eBay with the screen name SithJohn, I was going to find this spud the American way; by dedicating all of my time and energy to finding it.

At the time I was employed in a job that had me on the road constantly, and for a few months I was essentially being paid to drive around looking for a toy.

Granted, my boss didn’t know that was the case. If he did, he wouldn't have been very pleased.

Anyways, I would stop in any store that I could in an attempt to find Darth Tater. At first I was ashamed at being a 24 year old walking store to store asking employees if they had a plastic potato aimed at 3 year olds, but as time went on I asked whether Darth Tater was in stock with my chest pumped out, attempting to show as many “paid by the hour” employees as I could that I was a man who would not be denied his spud of choice.

After roughly two months of tater-hunting, I finally found a full stock of Darth Taters, and I found it in the most random place, Marshalls.

I had stopped in Marshalls to buy a cheap dress shirt and was amazed when, right next to the socks, I saw a stack of Darth Taters atleast 4 feet high. I didn’t know Marshalls carried toys, so at the time I was convinced this was karma spinning around on me, as earlier that day I let an old lady change lanes in front of me on the highway. I figured this was the way the universe chose to repay my good deed; by allowing me to spend insane amounts of money on an oblong piece of brown hollow plastic.

I ended up picking up 3 Darth Taters. One of them I purchased for my friend, as he was on a less-ambitious Darth Tater hunt than my own, one I bought for my bedroom, and the other I bought thinking I would keep it in the package; hoping that one day this spud would bring me the wealth and happiness I’ve been hoping to achieve since I was 5.

It’s obvious to see why I wanted Darth Tater so badly, it’s the cutest version of a villain I’ve ever seen …

It’s even cuter than that 12 year old drug dealer in RoboCop 2, and that dude sold drugs that looked like food coloring.

Seriously, if anyone has some Nuke, hook me up.

I love everything about Darth Tater.

The mask looks insanely cartoony, specifically because of the bulging white eyes that protrude from within …

It almost looks like Darth Tater took his cues from Jim Carrey in The Mask, as he always looks surprised.

My favorite feature of Darth Tater is the lightsaber …

I’ve never seen a deadly weapon look so cute. If I ran into Darth Tater in a dark alley, I’d be inclined to pick a fight with him, simply because if I had to die at the hands of a weapon, that cute little red lightsaber would be my ideal way to go.

Another great thing about Darth Tater is that it comes with all the original Mr. Potato Head parts …

This means that years down the line, when your son or daughter inevitably loses the mask, helmet, lightsaber, and other identifiable features that make this Mr. Potato Head Sith-like, they can still have fun creating a potato with wobbly eyes and a protruding tongue …

The Darth Taters I purchased are currently happy additions to my odd lifestyle.

I currently have one Darth Tater in the bedroom of my house, further adding to the belief that I’m actually 5 years old. The other Darth Tater, which I initially purchased to keep in the package, has been opened and currently sits on my desk at the office.

I’ve found that nothing screams, “I’m a young business professional” better than a Playskool spud dressed like one of the most well known movie-villains of all time.

Plus, if I get fired, walking out of the office with a pink slip in one hand and Darth Tater in the other would certainly lighten the mood.

At the end of the day, the hunt was well worth it, as I'm now the proud owner of two spuds; two spuds that will probably be sold for .50 cents at a tag sale in 2034.