by Ken Tuccio

I remember the most random things.

If you ask me where I went for lunch last week, I might not be able to tell you, but if you ask me what I had for lunch the last day of school in the 6th grade, I’ll be able to answer the question without hesitation.

Taco Bell.

One of the things that falls into the "random things I remember" category is the first movie I saw in theaters, and I’m proud to say it was this theatrical masterpiece …

Masters of the Universe, starring Dolph Lundgren.

As a child I was an absolutely huge He-Man fan. I owned all the toys, dressed up as him for Halloween, and at one point I even attempted to turn my dog into Battle Cat.

For those wondering, green spray paint is insanely tough to remove from a dog’s fur.

I was roughly 5 years old when Masters of the Universe was released theatrically, but I can remember details of that first theater excursion like it happened minutes ago.

My Father took me to the theater, and I was as excited as I could possibly be. I looked like a typical 5 year old fanboy. I was wearing my light blue Masters of the Universe T-Shirt, and carrying my toy Power Sword; just in case I needed to battle Skeletor near the Junior Mints. I even had He-Man action figures lining my pockets, because all the cool kids carried their toys with them.

You see, I always watched the He Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoons, so the idea of a live action version of my favorite animated characters seemed awesome to me. I didn’t care that He-Man was being played by Ivan Drago, nor was I concerned that this movie pretty much ignored everything that the cartoon had taught me about the franchise.

Seriously, He-Man with a laser gun?

No, I didn't care about any of that. All I cared about was that I had the ability to watch this movie on a screen that was the size of my house, all while eating tiny boxes filled with Reeses Pieces, and biting my nails in anticipation because I knew I was going to see what a real-life Eternia looked like.

As a child, this was the definition of euphoria.

On a side note, as a child I didn’t know what euphoria meant; I was more concerned with He-Man.

I’m still told stories about this first trip to the movies by my Father, which is probably why I have such a vivid recollection of it. My Father tells me that I was the most exuberant child in the theater, smiling every time Dolph Lundgren did something heroic, waving my Power Sword around like it was a foam finger at a Harlem Globetrotters game, and cheering throughout the entire film.

Basically, I’m convinced I was the type of child that everyone in the theater despised. I’m confident my Father leaves out the details of old women telling me to shut up, and theater employees threatening to toss me out on my ass. I assume had he shared those stories with me, my memories of my first movie-going experience wouldn’t be as positive.

I’ve seen Masters of the Universe countless times over the years, and I’ll be the first to admit that it’s far from a “great movie”, but the fact that I was such a carefree child when viewing it for the first time makes it one of those movies that has a special place in the movie theater in my heart.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I own the flick on DVD, and I’m not embarrassed to say that I watch the movie at least once a year. It’s an excuse for me to be nostalgic, and also an excuse for me to ogle a young Courtney Cox.

Yup, I'm a fan of the flick, and at some point I’d also like to own the poster; I think it would be an ideal piece for framing. I’d love to have a Masters of the Universe poster framed in my living room; I’m convinced it would be an amazing conversation starter, and also a great way to impress the ladies.

Okay, well maybe not the ladies, but maybe Courtney Cox would think it was cool.

Actually, she probably wouldn’t.

Well, maybe.

Neh, probably not.