by Ken Tuccio

I was born in 1982, as such I consider myself more of a 90’s kid than an 80’s kid.

I say that because, while I remember portions of the 80’s, the majority of that time period was spent playing Wiffle Ball and trying to convince my Mom to buy me almost every toy I saw commercials for during the Saturday morning cartoons.

Obviously, life as a kid is very easy.

As with anyone from any time period, there are certain things that I directly associate with my childhood. I’m talking about things like the original NES, action figures from Thundercats, and those WWF Ice Cream Bars; ice cream bars that proved that it was actually possible to make a delicious treat that combined cookies, ice cream, and men in tights.

Of course, on top of all that stuff, there were always movies.

Growing up I watched flicks that wowed me, inspired me, and caused my childlike imagination to roam free in a way normally reserved for folks who regularly drop acid.

There are certain movies that, even to this day, I directly associate with my childhood. I wouldn’t necessarily consider them my favorite movies of all time, but because of the impact they’ve had on a youthful Ken, they’re flicks that will always have a special place in my heart.

I decided to run through 5 of them today.

I give you, 5 Flicks That I Associate with My Childhood …

Major League – 1989

I’m sure this is an odd choice to some, but not to me.

Major League Is a flick I watched and re-watched countless times throughout my youth. I loved this movie for many reasons, and the first reason would be the cussing.

I heard more cursing in this movie than I had in the majority of my adolescent life. You see, my parents normally refrained from cursing, and none of the cartoons characters I watched dropped the F-Bomb; to be able to watch a movie that had a curse word almost every other line made me feel like a bad-ass kid.

Plus, the flick had to do with baseball, which has long been my favorite sport.

When I watched this movie I wanted to be Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, not just because he had a wicked cool haircut and awesome glasses, but because he wore a leather jacket on the baseball field. I tried doing that once in Little League and was admonished by the umpire, I consider that day the end of my baseball career.

What stinks is that this flick, while amazing on its own, was subjected to two terrible sequels. The very tame Major League 2, which brought back basically the entire cast, and Major League 3 : Back To The Minors, which proved that Corbin Bernsen’s career had reached laughable levels.

Regardless of how awful those sequels were, the first flick will always have a special place in the corner of my heart, a spot reserved for foul language and Willie Mays Hayes.

Home Alone – 1990

Show me a kid who grew up in the 90’s that didn’t like Home Alone, and I’ll show you a kid with a black eye; because I'll probably deck him.

For my money, and as an 8 year old kid I didn’t have much of it, Home Alone was THE comedy.

This flick appealed to me in every single way, as it fulfilled every dream and ambition young kids have. It had a young kid with the house to himself, it had a kid fighting robbers with cans of paint, and it proved that you can frighten pizza delivery men by boosting the volume on your television.

I wanted to be Kevin McCallister, because not only did he get to have the run of a house during the Christmas season, but he also became friends with a creepy old man. Sadly, my parents always told me to stay away from creepy old men in my neighborhood.

In retrospect, the sex offender registry in my old neighborhood makes me think they had the right idea.

As a kid, Home Alone was an absolutely hilarious movie, and it still holds strong to this day. Sure, I don't laugh as hard now when Joe Pesci burns his hand on a scolding hot doorknob as I did as a child, but I still find myself chuckling.

Many people argue whether or not this, or Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York, is the best of the franchise. For my money, nothing can stand up to the original, not even Brenda Fricker with a bunch of pigeons.

Regardless of your feelings on the subject, I think we can all agree that the fourth installment with French Stewart stunk.

Jurassic Park – 1993

What kid didn’t love Jurassic Park?

Seriously.

I consider Jurassic Park to be one of the first “scary movies” that I saw, because prior to seeing a T-Rex eat a lawyer off a port-a-potty, my cinema experiences had been confined to “lighthearted fare”.

Jurassic Park was pure joy for an 11 year old boy. After seeing this flick I not only wanted to buy the Jurassic Park toys, I wanted to go to Jurassic Park. Most people would think the insane murderous rampage that these dinosaurs went on would have caused me to want to stay as far away from Isla Nubar as possible, but it had the opposite effect on me; I wanted to vacation there.

The idea of spending a few weeks being chased by Raptors, sneezed on by Brontosaurus’, and helping Laura Dern sift through Triceratops poop was my idea of a Carnival Cruise .

While I loved the violence and realistic dinosaurs, one thing that stood out to me more was Jeff Goldblum. For my money, he stole the film.

As a kid, and still to this day, my favorite characters are the witty, funny, sidekicks; Dr. Malcolm is the epitome of all those. His witty one liners still make me chuckle when I re-watch the film, and as such have caused him to be one of the actors I will always be a fan of, even if he did star in Cats & Dogs.

I actually loved all the Jurassic Park flicks, even the third one, but the original will always be my favorite. It was my first time having the crap scared out of me from a movie, and the fact that it was done by a Dilophosuarus makes it all the more kick-ass.

Ace Ventura : Pet Detective – 1994

At the ripe old age of 12, I don’t think I quoted a movie more than Ace Ventura.

If I had a dollar for every time I walked out of the bathroom, waved my hand back and forth, and screamed, “DO NOT … GO IN THERE !!!”, I’d have atleast $20 right now.

Ace Ventura was the epitome of slapstick comedy , and made Jim Carrey the definitive comedic actor of my childhood.

Ace Ventura combined classic lines with slapstick humor, had a cameo from Dan Marino, and co-starred the crush of my childhood, Courtney Cox. After living a dozen years, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

I think one of the main reasons I associate Ace Ventura with my childhood is because it was the first movie I saw multiple times in the theater. I actually think I saw it 3 times before it hit VHS, which was quite the accomplishment at the time.

I rewatched Ace Ventura a few years ago, and I was somewhat sad that the flick didn’t hold up as well as I thought it would. I didn’t laugh, and at points I was actually bored, but that was never the case when I was a child, and as such it’s a flick that I’ll always remember fondly.

I would go into the atrocity that was Ace Ventura : When Nature Calls, but that would take far too much time.

Ghostbusters – 1984

If you asked me in the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d have said one thing; a Ghostbuster.

To me this was less of a fantasy, and more of a viable career option. I fully expected to graduate from College, hook up with Peter Venkman, and become his apprentice in the field of paranormal banishing.

Sadly, that dream never came true.

Ghostbusters came out in 1984, at which point I was 2 years old. While I didn’t watch the flick until the late 80’s via VHS, I did regularly watch The Real Ghostbusters cartoon series, and the adventures of the fearsome foursome and their green ghostly pal Slimer effectively made me interested in a career path that was impossible to reach.

After spending a bulk of my childhood watching the cartoons, I was wowed when I first saw the flick. It was awesome, and did nothing but further solidify my love for all things Ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters was funny, scary, and cool all at the same time; as a child, there was no better way to be introduced to the comedic stylings of Bill Murray.

I learned a lot from Ghostbusters. Peter Venkman taught me how to deliver one liners with a sarcastic gusto, Egon Spengler taught me that it is possible to nail a secretary at work without feeling awkward about it later, Ray Stantz taught me that being smart can sometimes be cool, and Winston Zeddemore taught me that every ensemble cast needs its token black guy.

I also learned not to cross the streams, a lesson that has aided me not only in paranormal extermination, but also in public bathrooms throughout my life.