by Ken Tuccio

A while back I took the internet by storm with an in depth look at a Stuff Magazine from 2002.

I like to think that article effected the world in many ways; it made people a bit more nostalgic for 2002, it showed the world what Jeremy Piven looked like in colored sunglasses, and upped Google searches for Leah Remini by 1%.

If there was ever an article I didn’t expect, or want, to do a follow up about it was that one. The last thing I want Tuccioholic to be known for is being the site you go to for sarcastic looks at older publications, but the hands of fate think differently as I recently came across this in a pile of old magazines …

This is a supplement to that very same Stuff Magazine that I rambled on about previously; it’s Stuff Magazine’s 102 Sexiest Women In The World 2002, or as your friends might call it, "That crap I threw out 6 years ago ...".

As I mentioned in the previous article, I’m a rather big fan of flipping through older magazines. I get a kick out of the different movies, gadgets, and celebrities that were big at the time. It's like my own personal time machine; only it never moves and is made from a dead tree.

That being said, I was heavily interested in seeing what women the fine folks at Stuff deemed “Sexiest In The World” in 2002. Thus, I began flipping through the supplement to see what it had to offer.

The supplement goes in descending order, and the woman to have the honor of being #102 is Caprice …

In the blurb about Caprice, Stuff notes that in 2002 she was a 27 year old model, singer, actress and California native. She probably had the world in front of her, and was excited about making this illustrious list.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve never heard of Caprice, which makes me believe that she’s currently a 33 year old bartender at some shady establishment in San Diego, where she uses her “celebrity” status as a resume blip to get her a bigger percentage of the nights tips.

I hear that’s what Kellie Shanygne Williams does too.

She played Laura Winslow on Family Matters.

It’s okay, I didn’t expect you to laugh at that.

Moving on.

Filling the spots between 101-90 are some notable names, most surprisingly is Jessica Biel at #99 …

At this point in Jessica’s career she was still the star of 7th Heaven, and in her blurb she talks about how she desperately hoped that there would be a Summer Catch sequel.

Something tells me Jessica wouldn’t want to star in that romantic sports romp nowadays, but I do think Freddie Prinze Jr. would; not so much because he thought the first one was great, but because he needs to make sure his house doesn’t get foreclosed upon.

Current Entourage and You Don’t Mess With The Zohan hottie, Emmanuelle “Spell Check Hates My First Name” Chriqui came in at #90 …

At this point the only things they could talk about for her was the fact that she was in the Chevy Chase flick Snow Day, and that she’s also from Canada. Those are two things she currently strikes off the back of her headshot.

Spots #89-80 are pretty bland and boring, with the only person I feel worth noting being Rebecca Romijn-Stamos …

The only reason I mention Rebecca Romijn is because it gives me an excuse to mention John Stamos, or as I like to call him, Uncle Jesse.

John Stamos rocks, and so did Forever. It was an awesome video and an awesome song. Granted the scenes of him shirtless with Nicky and Alex were a bit disturbing, but he can get away with that because he’s John Freaking Stamos.

And yes, his legal middle name is actually Freaking.

Okay, maybe not.

Anyways, spots 79-70 are equally as unexciting …

Spot #78 is given to Brittany Daniel, who’s claim to fame at the time was co-starring in Joe Dirt, and spot #77 went to Michelle Rodriguez, who at the time was about to star in the first Resident Evil flick.

Personally, in this picture, I think Michelle Rodriguez looks eerily like John Lequizamo in To Wong Foo …

I’m not going to lie, I’m a tad bit bothered by the fact that I automatically made that comparison. So, if we could not bring that up again it would be awesome.

Between spots #69-60 are some rather big names.

Mandy Moore took spot #67 ...

At this point in Mandy Moore’s career she was a full fledged pop star, with her song Candy annoyingly playing all over the radio. She also starred in A Walk To Remember, a touching romantic comedy that I'm going to pretend I never saw, as I'd like to maintain my masculine reputation.

#65 was Jeri Ryan, who was currently starring in Boston Public, an awesome show that desperately needs to be released on DVD ...

I’ve never understood the attraction to Jeri Ryan, but maybe that's because she looks like my High School biology teacher.

For the record, my High School biology teach happened to be a guy named John.

Kate Beckinsale was in spot #63 ..

.

You can tell she hadn’t made it big yet, as she was billed as the “star of Serendipity”.

Don’t get me wrong, Serendipity was a cute romantic comedy, one that makes me look inside every book jacket I come across to see if there’s a phone number written on the inside, but I’m not sure that’s something she considers a high point in her career.

A personal favorite of mine was #60, the lovely Willa Ford ...

I was a big Willa Ford fan, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have I Wanna’ Be Bad on my iPod and every once in a while, when I’m in the mood to be both poppy and naughty, I blast it loud and drive around.

Okay, I don’t really do that, but the song’s not too bad, and she is hot; the two criteria of being successful in America.

I can tell we’re widdling down the list, as between the spots of 59 and 50 we have names such as Carmen Electra ( #59 ), Elisha Cuthbert ( #57 ), and Kate Hudson ( #51 ) …

… but the big full page picture went to Roselyn Sanchez, who came in at #50 …

Rosie, which is what I call her when I pretend I know her, had just come off the “comic romp” known as Boat Trip.

If you're reading this and remember Boat Trip, I'd like to say I'm honored that a member of the Gooding family would check out my site. For everyone else who doesn't know about the flick, it was a movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr and Horatio Sanz where Cuba attempted to woo Roselyn by pretending to be gay.

Hilarity ensued, and careers came to a screeching hault.

In a “boy how the times have changed” moment, Tara Reid was the highlight of spots number 49-40, coming in at #49 with a full page spread …

At this point in her career Tara was about to star in the absolutely awesome flick Van Wilder; a movie that everyone should see due to it being insanely good.

I'm not kidding, I love that movie.

Tara was regularly partying, but had not yet become the slutty, disgusting mess that we all came to know and love; but as the picture shows, she did like her boobs to match the sky.

Honestly though, who doesn’t?

The big centerfold of the supplement went to #41, Chyler Leigh …

Most probably know Chyler as Lexie Grey from Grey’s Anatomy, or as the Rachel Leigh Cook character in Not Another Teen Movie, but I’ll always know her as the chick with a mohawk from the short lived sitcom That 80’s Show.

I’ve got nothing witty to say beyond saying that show rocked.

Spots #39-30 are interesting.

Rose McGowan came in at #39 ...

I’ve always had a thing for Rose, ever since she dressed as a Nitro Girl in Ready To Rumble. I’m not sure if I like her because she’s hot, or because she’s my main link to connecting Diamond Dallas Page to Kevin Bacon when I play Six Degrees.

Pink was #36 ...

I would say something sarcastic about her, but I’m afraid she’d hurt me.

Also, a pre-Tom Cruise Katie Holmes clocked in at #35 ...

In an interesting change of pace, a guy made spot #33 …

Oh, sorry, that’s Drea De Matteo.

My bad.

Spots #29-20 have some interesting choices …

Audrey Tatou came in at #29, despite the fact that she looks like a Muppet.

Seriously, if Statler and Waldorf sat in the balcony and criticized all her films, I wouldn’t be surprised.

The 27th spot went to Amy Smart, who the world was still fawning over because she went topless in Road Trip, and spot #21 was given to Denise Richards, who was proudly promoting Undercover Brother at the time.

Honestly, the only thing Denise Richards should be proud of when it came to Undercover Brother was the way they photoshopped her ass on the poster …

Other than that, noone should ever take pride in working with Eddie Griffin.

Well, unless Eddie wants to do something with me.

Seriously, call me Eddie.

We’re almost in the home stretch ( thankfully ), and in the teens I get the crush of my High School years, Courtney Cox …

Courtney came in at #18. She would have ranked higher, but she likes to feel barely legal.

Pamela Anderson, was #17 …

I think I should mention that I’ve always thought V.I.P. was an underrated show. Sure, the plotlines sucked, the dialogue was cheesy, and the acting was terrible, but Natalie Raitano was kinda’ cute; even with her boyish haircut.

Halle Berry made the list at #15 …

Right above her in the rankings were Christina Aguilera and Jessica Alba, the later of which was well known for Dark Angel; which I always thought was an awful show.

I did like Idle Hands though, not that it matters.

As you can tell, by this point I’m rambling a lot.

I appreciate your patience.

Finally, the Top 10 …

Brooke Burke came in the final double digit spot, followed by a woman whose hips never fib; Shakira at #9.

I was rather surprised to see Jaime Pressly at #8, because at this point in her career she was best known for being the bitchy cheerleader in Not Another Teen Movie. I'm not saying that was a terrible movie, but I'm sure it's not one of the highlights of her career.

Actually, it might be.

Beyonce came in at #7, a spot that I’m sure cause Kelly Rowland to begin drinking heavily, because I hear Kelly Rowland is an alcoholic.

For full disclosure, that's probably a lie.

Angelina Jolie came in at #6. She was pretty hot at this time, just coming off of both Tomb Raider and Billy Bob Thorton.

Alyssa Milano got herself a full page spread for landing the #5 spot …

While Cameron Diaz wasn’t even able to get a full fur coat by making #3 …

Jennifer Lopez was the runner up …

She hadn’t yet filmed Gigli, or start dating that rodent looking singer Marc Anthony, but she did still have an ass that people actually believed was insured.

Finally, the top spot, which is as clear cut an example of how 6 years can change someone’s life …

Britney Spears, Stuff Magazine’s Sexiest Woman In The World for 2002.

It’s far too easy to make Britney jokes, so I’ll simply say that the folks at Stuff probably would have changed their mind had they known that in a few short years she’d be doing this …

Wearing this …

While looking like this …

But hey, she was decent on How I Met Your Mother.