by Ken Tuccio

Target recently became my favorite place on the planet, because I was able to pay this price …

For this product …

$2.48 for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figure. That’s the greatest thing since Jennifer Lopez’s ass on the poster for Gigli …

Seriously, photoshopped or not, that poster rocks.

This isn’t just any TMNT figure, this is a TMNT Mutations figure. To be more specific, it’s a TMNT Mutations figure of Michaelangelo, or as the box puts it, "Mutating Mike".

The box didn't use quotations, I put those in there to act cool.

After the theatrical launch of the highly underrated TMNT flick of 2007, there were many turtle related products lining store shelves across the country. I’ve documented some of them on the site, like the TMNT Ninja Battle Gear, but I’ve never documented the figures before; but I have a logical reason for that.

The thing is, after the movie was released, there were so many different types of TMNT figures available that I would have had to been Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man to keep track of all of them. There were classic TMNT figures, Attack Vehicles TMNT figures, even Alien Hunter TMNT figures.

Yes, Alien Hunters.

I guess somewhere down the line Alf pissed of Leonardo.

Anyways, due to there being so many different figure options out there, I opted not to buy any of them. The only reason I snagged this figure was because of the low price point. I mean, who wouldn’t pay less than $3 for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figure?

The gimmick of this figure is that it “transforms” from a pet turtle to a Ninja Warrior.

Yes, I capitalized Ninja Warrior. I feel it deserves the respect of any other proper name.

In terms of fitting into turtle lore, this figure slides right in, because as anyone who watched the old cartoon series knows, the Ninja Turtles were once pet turtles, but thanks to some ooze they mutated into the heroes in a halfshell we grew to love.

That story is actually documented via a three panel comic strip on the back of the box …

Gotta' love blister cards that come with a backstory.

I’m not gonna’ lie, the figure itself isn’t the coolest Michaelangelo I’ve ever seen …

The limbs are rather thin and lanky, which I think is a structural necessity for the transforming feature this figure boasts about having, but the downside is it makes Michaelangelo look like he was struck with polio as a child, and I'm fairly confident polio ridden turtles can't kick Shredder's ass.

The thing is, the thin limbs aren't even my biggest gripe; my biggest gripe would be the fact that the head mold has Michaelangelo winking …

I’m sure the idea was to make Mikey look cool by having him give a wink to anyone who came within winking distance, but I think this design choice makes Michaelangelo look like he suffered a stroke.

Personally, I don’t want to own a stroke victim Michaelangelo figure. Not only would he get his ass kicked by the Foot Clan, but he’d also probably slur his words when saying “Cowabunga”, and that would be more depressing than watching Dick Clark on New Years Eve nowadays.

The figure comes with a few bonus items, including a canister of Mutating Ooze …

This is actually the second canister of Mutating Ooze I have in my possession, the first came with the Ninja Battle Gear I mentioned previously. Most would think two canisters of Mutating Ooze are useless things to own, but like my 3rd grade English teacher once told me, you can never have enough Ooze.

My 3rd grade English teacher drank alot.

Along with the Ooze, you also get a Casey Jones Collectable Card …

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.

Anyhoo, the big selling point for this toy is the mutating feature.

Normally transforming features on toys are headaches, but this one was actually quite painless. You simply pulled back on the shell, flipped around the head, pulled back on the legs, and wallah …

You’re the proud owner of a really odd looking pet turtle.

Obviously this is a deformed pet turtle, unlike anything you’d ever find in a pet store or swamp, but it’s a pet turtle none-the-less.

There’s a distinct difference between the two, and with the exception of the kneepads there’s barely any similarities at all.

Seriously, look.

Ninja Warrior …

Pet Turtle …

Ninja Warrior …

Pet Turtle …

Ninja Warrior …

Fran Drescher …

Pet Turtle …

It’s easy to tell them apart.

For $2.48, this was a good buy. It gave me another canister of Mutating Ooze, another action figure that will further clutter my apartment, all while allowing me to trash up the internet a little bit more with useless garbage.

Cowabunga.