by Ken Tuccio

I’ve never been embarrassed to purchase wrestling related products.

While a lot of people who watch wrestling are “closet fans”, I’ve never been one. I’ve always been proud of being a wrestling fan. I take no shame in wearing the shirts, displaying the figures, or spending insane amounts of money on the PPV events.

There is, however, one piece of wrestling merchandise I’ve never purchased on my own out of sheer embarrassment; the WWE Divas Magazine Special.

Every year the WWE will release a magazine that can best be described as soft core porn. It’s basically a picture journal of all their Divas in various states of undress.

I can say, with complete honesty, that I’ve never purchased one of these publications.

While I take no shame in being a wrestling fan, I do have a bit of care for what the cashiers at various supermarkets think of me. I tend to believe that if I walked up to the register with a magazine of wrestling women posing in lingerie, I’d not only be thought of as a stereotypical “uneducated wrestling fan”, but I’d also be seen as someone who regularly masturbates to things that are sold in supermarkets.

Ironically, that’s also the same reason I stopped buying Little Debbie Snack Cakes.

While I’ve never shelled out my hard earned money for one of these publications, several years ago I was given one …

This is the 2003 WWE Divas Undressed Magazine.

One of my friends purchased this as a Christmas gift for me 5 years ago; proving that my friends are cheap, and that they think I’m lonely.

This is essentially a Victoria’s Secret catalog that you shell out $7 for.

Unlike Playboy or Penthouse, you cannot make the claim that you purchase this magazine for the articles, because as the table of contents proves, this is 112 pages of pictures …

The magazine is broken down Diva by Diva.

Obviously this magazine highlights some of the more popular Divas at the time, such as Trish Stratus …

Not only does Trish Stratus pose in a black bra and cowboy hat, but she also stands next to blocks …

Many may think this was the photographers way of making Trish look sexy, by having her stand next to words that can regularly be found on the ass of sweatpants that chicks buy at Hollister; but I’m convinced this was WWE’s attempt to aid wrestling fans in spelling. Judging by the signs many fans bring to the arena, some fans have a hard time spelling words that contain more than 5 letters.

Seriously, who spells Undertaker with a Q?

While this magazine has images of chicks that most men find sexy, like Trish, they also have images of women who look like men, like Jazz …

I’m sure some men find Jazz attractive, but to me she looks like the lead character in Juwanna Mann ...

... and I have a rule that I can never be attracted to anything that has any connection to Kevin Pollak’s career.

Obviously the photographer wanted to get artistic with this magazine, thus the reason for these images of Stacey Keibler …

Many uneducated minds may think this is nothing more than an excuse to make Stacey Keibler look sexy, but I believe that this is the photographer’s way of making a statement about how the unemployment rate in America is too high, and that unless American’s take responsibility for their own actions they will never be able to reach higher levels of social class.

Actually, on second thought, they probably just thought she looked cute in pink.

I’d say the most embarrassing photo session of the bunch had to go to Molly Holly …

It’s got to hurt your self esteem when you’re posing for a lingerie catalog and they tell you you’d look best in a striped pajama pant set while holding a bunny. Guys don’t want to fantasize about women in clothes their wives buy at Wal*Mart, they want to fantasize about women in leather and lace, and the only time they want a bunny involved is when they’re getting a blowjob while watching The Girls Next Door.

I would go through the rest of the photos, but I can only make so many sarcastic comments about thongs before I feel dirty.

At the end of the day, these magazines are hot sellers; even with the advent of the internet. This proves that either wrestling fans enjoy supporting the product with their hard earned money, or they’re yet to figure out how to properly Google “Jackie Gayda In A Thong”.

I wouldn’t be shocked either way.